What happened to Jack3d?

The FDA and the media have been at their little wheels again, spinning fairy tales and fables about how dangerous JACK3D was….

So much so, that the manufacturer, USPLabs, has called it quits and discontinued the product.

They released a “new formula”, sure.

It sucks.


So…. the tens of thousands of gym rats who used the product without a single side effect worth mentioning lose another effective supplement because some kid who was using it died.

They don’t know why he died exactly, or whether it had anything at all to do with the supplement, or even HOW MUCH HE TOOK of it.

He died, so BAN IT.

Uh huh.

The FDA says that an ingredient in the original formula, called DMAA, or 1,3 dimethylamylamine, is an unregistered, ” illegal dietary supplement “.

There’s no doubt it’s a stimulant, much like caffeine, but the TOTAL adverse event reports about DMAA, numbered less than a hundred, for a product that literally tens of thousands were using on a regular basis.

This over-reaction sounds more like the rumblings of the pharmaceutical companies not getting their cut than any concern for public safety.

I really think maybe we should be able to exercise personal choice in this kinda stuff.

We’re big boys… grown up and all..

Shouldn’t we have a say?


Building Rock Hard Abs



Some of you have been emailing wanting to know how cumzit I’ve posted a workout for every body part except one….. ABS.

Ok. Mea Culpa.

I admit it…. I am so very sorry.


The truth is, although this is a very popular group for people to want to work, most people want to spot tone – and spot toning is more of a myth than that guy who supposedly could spit pumpkin seeds through plate glass windows.

I dunno if they were salted, or no.

However, I will today post an ab workout for y’all who have been clamoring for it. ( ok, maybe clamoring is a little strong of a word…)

Another reason, probably the big one, that I havent posted on this subject before, is the fact that I myself don’t give much of a damn about having a wash board tummy.

You can certainly see my abdominal muscles, but you can’t exactly wash yer laundry on em.

As you probably know, I’m a strength trainer -not a body builder.

I don’t care how purty I am,

I only care about how strong I am.

That being said, I agree totally that abdominals are a very important aspect of core strength, and I work em hard for that reason.

But this workout will not be about that, cause if you’re reading posts on the net about abs, you’re undoubtedly more interested in what they look like.

So, to this end, today I consulted my buddy Brickface, who is a nationally ranked body builder , and has abs you can sharpen your pen knife on.

And he told me what he does, and I’m gonna let you in on it.

That’s just the kinda guy I am.

mmmm hmmm.

He does 6 movements on his AB-Back day having direct impact on his ABS.

All of these, he works 3 sets of 20 – weighted when noted.

Hanging Leg Raises – grab a pull up bar, lift up and bring your legs to an L shape in mid air.
Lower your legs to starting position and repeat. (leg weights)

Crunches – Lie on your back, hands behind your head, bend your knees and raise your legs to a 90 degree position, then curl your head and shoulders toward your knees.

Lying Leg Thrusts – Laying on your back, legs up, thrust your heels, and raise your torso toward the ceiling.

Sit ups – Lying on your back, knees slightly bent, feet on floor, hands behind your head.

High Pulley Crunches – On a pulley machine, kneel, grab the Tbar behind your head, and crunch away. This is ugly to watch… and don’t go ape shit with the weight.

Dumbbell Side Bends – Stand with your feet about a foot apart, one hand behind your neck, the other holding a dumbbell… bend your torso away from the weight bearing side. Alternate.

He also told me to tell ya that if after working these, you’re not feelin the burn, you can repeat the whole deal over again.

He does it several times over some days.

And the results show, no doubt about it.

Me, I got a washing machine.

Building a Powerful Back


A lot of people love to work chest and arms.

Some people love to work shoulders.

A coupla people love to work legs – like me.

But very few people love to work their back.

And , why is that, you may ask?

I guess, because of all the groups you could be working today- the one you need to be the most careful in form and execution- is back.

You can tear that sucker up so bad, you’ll never chase another redhead again.

I’ve seen it done.

And, when you run into the guy at the supermarket or pizza place who wants to tell you all about the competing and working out he USED to do, but now only lifts boxes of pizza and Krispy Kremes, invariably, he says he can’t workout out anymore – because he ruined his back.

Now, I’m not sayin all them guys are tellin the absolute skinny…..

But, it does demonstrate how a back injury can take you outta the game- maybe permanently.

So- you wanna ‘watch your back’. ( Ok, bad pun, but what do you want for nuthin’? )

One thing you learn quick – just about every pulling movement, like rows, pull ups, pull downs, etc. are good for building the back. Most of the work for middle back is folcrumed through the Latissimus Dorsi, the upper back the Trapezius, and the erector spinae muscles in the lower back.

Remember this – never arch your back forward – with your head and shoulders glooping forward..
always lift with an natural arch – head and shoulder slightly back.

When working with heavier weights, practice and use a technique called “blocking” –
basically, this means sucking in some air, pushing your chest out, your shoulder in, and flexing your abdominals. This supports your internal structure, and gives you more stability and concentration of power.

Here’s how Delavier describes it:

” The chest expands with compressed air, which supports the rib cage and prevents the chest from collapsing forward.

Contracting the abdominal muscles during compression supports the core and increases the intra-abdominal pressure, which prevents the torso from collapsing forward.

Arching the lower back by contracting the lumbar muscles positions the spinal column in a strong and proper alignment during extension. ”

——————————————(Frederic Delavier, “Strength Training Anatomy”)

Now, let’s talk about those movements and implements you should use to design a back workout for building strength and maybe even showin off on the beach.

( I’ve been to Venice Beach – it ain’t all that, believe me… )

Recommended Exercises:

Back Hyperextensions
Start by lying face down, then raise your arm and head with the opposite leg.
Sounds easy, but everybody learns to hate em.

Good Mornings
While standing, place a barbell across the back of your shoulders as you would for squats.
Keeping your legs rigid, bend forward at the waist, with head up, until your shoulders are parallel with your knees.
Do not do these while incarcerated, or on the beach in Provincetown.

Lying Leg Raises
Start by lying on a mat face up with your legs straight out. Lift your legs straight up using only your abdominals and hip flexors. Lower your legs down without them touching the ground and repeat . Yawn.

Trap Squeaks or Shrugs
Standing, take a dumbell in each hand, and with your arms at your side, raise your shoulders as high as you can go, then return to the starting position. ( You can use a Hammer Strength machine for this as well. )

Lat Pull Down (Machine)
Using a wide bar, hold it with a wide comfortable grip, while putting your knees underneath the pad. Pull the bar down smoothly until it touches the top of your chest. No cheatie da weightie.

Bent over Barbell (or Dumbell) Row
Stand with feet shoulder width apart and a bend in the knees. Bend at the waist with your head up and grasp a bar with an wide overhand grip. Raise and lower in slow deliberate motion, keeping elbows out. If you’re a bodybuilder, the dumbbells are for you. If you train for strength, I prefer the bar.

Back Extensions (Machine)
Adjust pad to midback, push back, keeping natural arch until almost flat. Take your time and flex your abs and back during each rep. This is a good way to catch your breath between other more strenuous movements, and to catch a glimpse of any hotties that may be passing by, too.

Long Pull (Machine)
Sit on machine with back in natural arch, pull bar forward toward chest. works upper and mid back. I love these… but don’t round your back– or something could go SPpppRrrrOING!!!.

Seated Row (Machine)
Same as above – works mid and lower back. You will learn to love these, too. Umm hmm.

Bend over with your knees slightly bent and your arms locked out, putting the power emphasis on your quadraceps, hamstrings, glutes, and support with your lower back. Raise in a powerful quick motion, lower and repeat. This is my absolutely favorite movement – but don’t forget the rules here…
2- remember your BLOCKING,
3- and once you’re ready, COMMIT TO THE LIFT.

Alrighty… that’ll certainly get your back day into motion…

— you can learn to love working back!!

—- Now, go get you some.

Building Legs of Steel


Lemme tell ya… of all the muscle groups in the body, legs are the group that a lot of guys just downright refuse to work.

Most guys just love to work upper body, particularly arms… but so many neglect legs- maybe ’cause working legs HURTS.

(Damned if my knees aren’t burning and screamin most of the time…… )

That’s why you see so many unbalanced physiques….
…….. mooks with big upper bodies and lil bird legs.

Guys struttin around the gym looking like Purdue chickens, all breast meat.

Ok… well, that may not be the ONLY reason….. genetics plays a part, but genetics can be partially overcome with the proper work, diet, supplementation, and rest.

In the end, one must apply heavy force, while protecting the joints, if you want to strengthen and grow your legs and calves.

Form is vital – cause your joints take all the weight that isn’t properly balanced and folcumed.

But take heart.

You can love working legs. I promise.

I do – even though my knees hate me most of the week because of it.

Working legs separates the men from the boys… working heavy separates the strong from the wanna-look-strong.

‘Cause there’s no faking legs.

I always say – “If you’re scared- say you’re scared.”

The truth is, a lot of guys are scared of working legs heavy… but your legs and calves are the strongest groups in your body- they’re meant to take heavier weight than the rest of your body.

Actually, when you work legs, you’re working several other groups usually, too… but the ones we’ll concern ourselves with in this discussion will be CALVES (soleus, etc), THIGHS (quads, etc), and BUTTS (gluteus, etc.)

No guy wants to admit to working his butt, but your butt (…Wait, am I stuttering?) is part of the whole leg package – and strength here will help drive heavier deadlifts and other lifts, too.

Baby may got back, but you – you want POWAH.

You ain’t strong- unless your legs, butt, and calves are strong……

You gotta be able to put the power to the ground.

Before we discuss implements and movements, lemme tell you a couple things that you might want to consider.

One is the use of knee wraps. I use them every time I work legs. They are NOT a crutch. They are NOT weight bearing. They are NOT cheating (like a bench suit, etc.). They simply provide support for the patella (knee cap) and the surrounding ligaments and tendons. You don’t need to stress those bad boys to build powerful legs – if you do, you won’t be able to put the power to the ground when you need to.

And, no power to the ground means you might as well have them bird legs we were talking about.

Two is about how much weight you should use when working legs.

Remembering that I don’t want any of you burning out your wheels or blowing out your knees, and reminding you of my disclaimer at the bottom of this here post, I can tell you that the harder you work em, the bigger and stronger they’ll get. Growth is nature’s way of coping with a recurring stressor of muscle fiber – especially those fast twitch fibers — and fast twitch fibers respond particularly well to short duration, high intensity work.

The wrong way to grow legs is to do high reps and low weight…. and that’s how most guys work em. No wonder they won’t grow. You’ll end with legs that look long and lean in running shorts, but them dogs won’t hunt.

So, how much weight? Depending on the implement or movement, around 75% of 1RM for 3 sets of 8-10 reps.

Three is knowing the difference between good pain and bad pain.

Good pain feels like pain, but you’ve gotten to know it as temporary , as a result of the pump, and the build up of lactic acid and ammonia from the application of force. You should feel THIS pain every time you work out. If you don’t , get the hell back in there and work some more.

Bad pain feels like pain, too… but it also feels like you’re tearing something up…. you know- like the difference between the usual grunt and growl of your V-Twin and the noise it makes when the damn thing is about to throw a rod.

You gotta learn the difference. You do that the same way you learn to lift heavier weights. You start slow, you pay attention to what it’s supposed to feel like, and then you build up… all the time asking yourself if you’re doing it right and everything’s still OK.

Again, high resistance , low reps…. rest about 3 minutes between sets. You should need the rest – and you shouldn’t have much left after your 8 or 10- if you do, throw some more weight on that thing. Slow and easy on the reps…. don’t ‘lock out’, and never go in the well unless you know how you’re getting out again… better yet, stay outta there. It’s too rough on your joints for so little return.

Four: Blocking is an important technique especially when squatting. Basically, this means sucking in some air, pushing your chest out, your shoulder in, and flexing your abdominals. This supports your internal structure, and gives you more stability and concentration of power.

Here’s how Delavier describes it:

” The chest expands with compressed air, which supports the rib cage and prevents the chest from collapsing forward.

Contracting the abdominal muscles during compression supports the core and increases the intra-abdominal pressure, which prevents the torso from collapsing forward.

Arching the lower back by contracting the lumbar muscles positions the spinal column in a strong and proper alignment during extension. ”

——————————————(Frederic Delavier, “Strength Training Anatomy”)

and Five: I’m not gonna go back over all the stuff you need to know about how important your hormone levels and proper supplementation is to your gains… see
http://hubpages.com/hub/Supplements-for-Strength-and-Fitness for more info….

just remember, this and rest are just as important as working hard!!

Movements and Implements

Works all parts of the quadriceps and gluteus. I like to use the Smith Machine, and position the bar between the traps and the posterior delt – you may be more comfortable with the bar resting on the traps. Stay outta the well. When your quads are parallel to the ground, that’s plenty good. Don’t flex your spine during your squat, and remember your natural arch and blocking. Breathe in before going down, breathe out coming up.

Works most of your thigh muscles and your erectors in your back, as well as your gluteus.
You can target your hammies by keeping your legs straight. Don’t do these while incarcerated or at the beach in Key West.

Works all parts of the quadriceps and gluteus. Make sure you keep your back flat to the pad, and your butt on the seat. You can change up where you place your feet, and how far apart they are, to target more specific groups… for instance, high and wide hits the glutes and hammies harder… low and close hits the quads harder. Vary it up and see which spots are the sweet ones fer you.

Works the glutes and the bicep femoris. Don’t extend any further back than is comfortable.
Slow movement back and forward is the key here.

Works all parts of the quads. Decline the seat more to work the outside quad (the rectus femoris).

Works the hammies, biceps femoris (no- not the biceps in your arm…) and the gastrocnemius (back of your calves). Go to 12 oclock and stop- don’t bounce – and then back down.

Works the hammies, abductors, and your G-Spot if you got one. I hate these, and I don’t do em. If you want to, be sure to keep your natural arch and don’t go too heavy. They’re great for building inner thigh strength- just in case you’re a female assasin and meet James Bond in the shower.

Works the gastrocnemius and the soleus in your calves. I love these, and do them on a Smith Machine so I can get more range of motion. Don’t be afraid to go heavier!!

Works the soleus… keep your patella at the end of the pad, and don’t go ape shit on the weight here… that’s a small group.

Works the quads, hams and glutes. Ok… I hate these too,,,, and I’ll usually do more squats and skip these for the sake of my knees. However, Ronnie Coleman loves them, he used to go very heavy on em… and he’s not exactly a small guy, legs or anything else. He used to do these in the parking lot of the Metroflex Gym in Dallas, rain or shine, hot, hotter, or hottest- with 400 pounds of chains around his neck. Step longer to get the hammies, shorter to hit the quads.

Well, there you have it. This workout you can do once or twice a week, and you’ll start seeing results in 6 to 8 weeks,…. don’t be tempted to break these up into separate days, cause that’ll cut into your rest and recovery, and these groups need it. Just pick the ones you like the best (spread the groups around, though, and stick with your push-pull rotation when possible) and do them first, then pickup the rest as your endurance allows.

Lemme know how you’re doing !!!

Disclaimer: any and all commentary contain herein is for entertainment only, and does not constitute advice- which can only be given under the up-close and personal supervision of a personal trainer who can watch you closely to make sure you’re doing the stuff right and not hurting yourself. see your medical professional before entertaining any ideas of using the entertainment contained within this entertainment for your own entertainment.

Want to read more on working legs? Check out : http://westsideboti.wordpress.com/2013/07/20/building-big-legs/

Weight Management: Eating 5-6 Meals a Day

Eating small meals throughout the day sounds difficult- but with a little simple planning, and the right advice, the rewards can be quite amazing.


Eating 5 or 6 meals a day on a weight reduction plan

You might have heard this before….

That you should eat 5 or 6 smaller meals throughout the day,
instead of maybe skippin breakfast,
throwing together a junk food lunch,
and having a big dinner.

I know there’s a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding out there…

So maybe you didnt figure the concept had any real science behind it.

And I feel ya… the first time I heard it, I rolled my eyes, and scoffed.

But that was several years ago, and after many studies, and much personal experience,
…… I can tell you that it is the real deal.

This is a key concept to not only losing weight, but keeping it off..
… and although it might sound difficult–
with a little advance planning, it is quite simple.

If you work, carry a small cooler bag, or keep some backup supplies in a fridge.
Stash some fruit or trail mix in your desk, in case you’re pressed for time.

It is essential that the meals you consume are appropriate for the time of day-

— in order to ramp up your metabolism, and enhance optimum hormonal production, including those responsible for fat-burning, and muscle building.

It is especially important that NO meals are comsumed within 3 hours of bedtime–
—- that the heavier meals are consumed early in the day,
and any evening meals are light and low in calories and fats.

Timing is critical, here.. so plan your day accordingly.

> Workout no closer than 3 1/2 hours of bedtime.

> Do not consume any food 45 minutes or less before your workout,
and be sure you eat
a meal containing protein immediately,
or within 1 hour of finishing workout.

When choosing your meals, stick with the 40/30/30 index as much as possible.
— 40% protein, 30% carbs, 30% fats – with no more than 1800 calories per day.

Remember – fats contain 9 calories per gram, carbs and proteins only 4 calories,
so you can have only half as much fat as protein or carbs.

Use only healthy fats like Olive Oil (preferred) or Canola Oil.

NO MARGARINE, Lard or “BUTTERY SPREADS” — only unsaturated fats will do.

Avoid fried foods (foods absorb extra fat),
alcohol (empty calories),
high sodium or salty (water retentive) foods,
soy based (hormonally unsound) foods.


Breakfast: 1 fruit (usually a banana, apple, plum or orange)
1/2 C. V8 juice, or orange juice, plus coffee or tea ( <1 tsp sugar ok )
3 oz. protein (hard boiled egg and palm sized portion off protein list)

Meal #2: 1 fruit (usually a fruit I did not already eat today)
3 oz. protein (see protein list – baked chicken, turkey, lean beef or pork, or fish)
A small piece bread/half baked potato or 1/2 C. rice/pasta ( TSP tomato sauce/oil OK.)
1 vegetable or dip (guacamole, salsa, salad, steamed asparagus or broccoli, etc)

Meals #3 and #4: Same choices as Meal # 2 with an extra vegetable but NO starches.

Meal #5: 3 oz. protein (see protein list) plus 1 fruit, 1 veggie

Meal #6: 1 portion fruit

Caloric intake should be carefully monitored-
— there are many books and online resources to help you keep track of what foods have the most nutrition with the lowest amount of calories.

As previously mentioned, you’re shooting for a plan that will give you about 1800 calories.

If you were to have five 300 calorie meals, you would still have room for an extra snack, or a protein shake.

In practice, you should be eating a heavier meal in the early part of the day, going lighter as the day progresses.

Choosing your proteins will probably be the most complicated part of your meal planning.

The good news is that there are plenty of good, nutritious proteins to choose from.

Here’s a short list of some of my favorites, in 3 oz portions unless noted.

Protein List

Tuna (in water) 30 grams protein, 135 calories
Cod (smoked) 20 grams protein , 88 calories
Shrimp (boiled) 21 grams protein, 99 calories
Lobster (steamed) 16 grams protein, 81 calories
Cottage Cheese 14 grams protein, 84 calories
Turkey (white meat) 25 grams protein, 130 calories
Trout (smoked) 29 grams protein, 155 calories
Crab ( 2 – steamed) 20 grams protein, 100 calories
Chicken (roasted, white) 23 grams protein, 128 calories
Salmon (steamed) 21grams, 126 calories
Beef round (lean broiled) 24 grams protein, 163 calories

Incorporating fruits and vegetables that are low in calories is also very helpful in meal planning.
And, if you find yourself desiring a snack between meals, grab one of these!

They include:


Popcorn (unbuttered, very lightly salted)
Rice Cakes
Brussels Sprouts
Boiled Potatoes
Pigeon Peas
Red Peppers



A weight loss goal is helpful, as long as you don’t attach an unrealistic timetable to it.

Weigh yourself no more than once a week, and always at the same time of day.

Remember that body weight fluctuates up and down, even when you’re losing fat…
— you didnt put on the weight overnight – so don’t expect to lose it overnight, either.

The most effective weight management plan isn’t a temporary fix,
……… but a permanent change in how and what you eat.

Finally, be sure you are hydrating properly, at least 64 ounces of water a day.

This will actually help you to lose weight..
–once your body becomes acclamated to getting the proper amount of water, it will not ‘hold on’ to water as much or as long.

It will also help flush toxins out, and keep your hormonal system running properly.

Now, GO GET IT !!!



how goes my training


I had all intentions of running this site like my muscleheaded one, and dedicated to training issues, but it doesn’t seem to coming together that way…

With no readership, I guess I might was well just run it as a training journal.

I’ll keep bringing my info posts over from the other gym site until I’m caught up… there’s not too many of them left I care about.


I’ve been experimenting with improving my stamina and power on lifts.

I can push past my normal rep exhaustion point on presses by sucking on these chewable Glutamine tabs while I work… I’ve actually gotten to the point where I feel like I can add a full set more without completely washing out.

Sometimes it’s hard to know, of course, how much is the Glutamine, and how much is placebo effect and mind frame.

I definitely feel better, even after the extended workout, by doing it, so I’m gonna continue.

After leg day ( which is now on Tuesday morning) Tuesday nites and Wednesdays used to be nightmares.. couldn’t walk, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, headaches…

Now, with forced hydration during and after, added glutamine and HMB, I feel human on the day after.

I gotta remember to hydrate constantly during that recovery period, and force some protein immediately after.

I wish I could bring an electric fan… breathing cool air really does help extend my workouts.

My attitude has been hurting a bit since my last competition… I don’t feel like I had gained any strength in those six months, at least until these last couple of weeks.

Actually, I felt flat and weak in March.

I mean, I was pumped for it, and I figured I’d do really well.

Admittedly, I was up about 15-20 pounds over my normal weight, but I figured it might help. It didn’t.

I hung in, but really wasn’t in it — of course, I was 15 years older than the nearest competitor, and it didn’t help, but I still believe I can win, if I can get my mind and body right.

And I know I can.

I’ve been doing better, maybe since May.

Having to change gyms was at first a liability, but now, I think it mighta shocked me out of my old training patterns.

Adding deep dips has definitely improved my shoulders, and I’m really happy with how I look above the navel.

My chest is improving too, really good.

My right shoulder has been pretty consistently achey. I haven’t let up on it, though… and I’m glad I can’t see my grimacing when I’m working it. I bet it’s a pretty ugly sight.

Below the navel, well, I’m still carrying some of that extra baggage, ( I was up to 290 in February ) but I have been eating MUCH more carefully, cause Hilton Head is coming up, and I want to be down to below 250.

R is actin crazy again.. don’t know how the w/e is gonna go, but I’m bettin on extra gym time.

Matt is doing the Tampa competition TODAY.. it’s gonna be webcast, and I’m planning on being home in time to watch it.

I wanted to go, but the damned airline wanted 400 bucks, and with all the other crap going on, I couldn’t.

Fuck it.

I’m gonna keep training.
I’m gonna keep getting stronger.
I’m gonna make all those mooks and lopes in the new gym look like the pussies they very truly are.

It’s actually not that bad there…

I miss the old place, of course, but this place got almost all of the Hammer Strength implements I’m used to, and with the exception of that really ill-conceived hang and dip thingee, I can’t complain.

The staff has been very nice, maybe cause I agreed to help them get the Strongman comp going in the Spring, to replace the ZX event.

The other day, I see this goof eyeballing me on the leg press. I pay no mind, pull my hat down, and get my 45 reps at 13x45x2.

Next day, I go in, he’s on it, with almost my working weight on it ( think he had 10x45x2 on it), and moving it about 4 – 5 inches for 5 reps — like he was doing some exotic I dunno-what-the-fuck-it-was movement.

It seemed to me a lot of loading of weight just to do a couple very short-range calf extensions or whatever it was.

And of course, he leaves the weight on the machine for somebody else to take off.

I dunno what it is about the leg implements in there, though.

It seems to attract a special kinda mook.

Like the idiot doing split sets on the hack squat, linear squat and calf extension from two weeks ago…

I had finished my presses and wanted one of those implements — I didn’t much care which, but he had his stuff strewn across em all, and he was obviously tying em all up.

I killed time fooling around on the soleus machine, until I couldn’t stand it any more.

SPLIT SETS ON 3 MACHINES while others are waiting? Bullshit.

I just moved his shit off the hack squat, loaded it up, and climbed aboard.

You’re right, of course, I coulda been a gentleman, and asked him real nice if I could ‘work in’ ….

But I’m sick and tired of going out of my way for people who don’t practice common courtesy themselves.

Fuck em.

Hahahaahaha… so.. I saw him gapin at me from two implements over, as I loaded up.

And when he worked up the nerve to lope over, I looked directly at him as he came….

John was talking to me at the time… ” Here we go”, he says.

The guy gets to about 6 feet of me…. stops, thinks, kinda shrugs and then says : ” More Powah ” , takes his shit and moves.

No kiddin.

What the flamin fuck is THAT supposed to mean?


What’s the story on Creatine ??

Creatine isn’t a steroid, or a dangerous chemical —

it’s as natural as your body,

and can ramp up your muscle and strength BIG TIME.


Creatine Monohydrate

Since this supplement was popularized in the early 90’s,
Creatine is often the first thing guys try when they want to bulk up with lean muscle

— and it definitely has its value when taken properly.

It helps hydrate and ‘bulk up’ muscle fibers,

making longer and heavier workouts possible,

— thereby (indirectly) helping to build permanent lean muscle.

The strength and weight trained athlete has the most to gain here.

Those involved in high cardio , endurance activities will not see nearly as much benefit.

Five grams per day is more than sufficient;
–any more than that and the body converts the excess into creatinine
(a semi-toxic by-product made in the gastroentestinal system)
— thus creating nothing but expensive urine.

Some users suggest cycling 90 days on/ 90 days off
and using ‘loading’ doses at the start of each cycle;
— but loading seems unnecessary according to recent studies.

As for cycling itself, well, I think that makes some sense.

After using it for a while, you’ll probably start noticing some bloating and water weight…

– and the edge will start to wane as well..

….. so a rest period might be called for.

Like many sports supplements,
you will have to use your own judgement about what works best for you.

Be sure to use the powder though; never the liquid.

Creatine loses its effectiveness very quickly after it is diluted,
— so mix it and drink it within 15 minutes.

Most guys I know take it right after a workout.

A lot of gyms will sell it by the scoop at (what is euphemistically called) the ‘juice bar’, and even mix it for ya.

“Barkeep.. another sasparilla with a creatine chaser, and make it strong this time.”

As for specific brands, well, as long as you’re buying it from a trusty source like Vitamin Shoppe, SupplementWarehouse, ProSource, National Discount Nutrition, etc.,
— you’ll find very little real difference in effectiveness of the brands they carry.

I like 1 scoop of MuscleTech ‘Cell-Tech’ orange flavor,
because it mixes well with orange juice…. it’s relatively expensive, though.

Feel free to ignore the loading and 2 scoop directions..
— as I said previously, 5 grams is plenty.
(I bet they sell a hell of a lot more that way….. )

I also like to use EAS Phosphagen HP when I’m on a budget.
For about 20 bucks, you’ll get about a 45 day supply, and it goes to work right away.

Creatine works best when taken with a 10:1 ratio of simple carbohydrates…
so some guys mix it with grape juice for this reason.

Hell buddy, if it works, why not champagne?

That’s just fancy grape juice ain’t it?

Make that stuff taste a whole lot better and go down a whole lot easier, too.
(Pay me no mind)

OK, maybe not.

I just throw the Creatine Mix in the blender with 5g of pharmaceutical glutamine, 5g BCAA and 1 scoop of ‘Glycerlean’ slow absorb protein mix and I’ve got me the worst tasting Creamsicle shake you’ve ever tasted.


(Take a deep breath,
then drink it all down in one gulp and you’ll barely even want to throw up.

So why bother, you may ask?

Man, I didn’t put it first on my supp list ’cause I like spellin’ it…

It really does seem to help me work out harder and longer.

And I am definitely STRONGER – maybe 10% stronger.

Yep- it does make a huge difference in my bench press.

I have done the cycle thing enough times to know.

Now, I just stay on it.

I can’t afford to give an inch (or a pound) to the competition.

But, if you don’t want to work out hard, you don’t need it
… it won’t do a blessed thing for you except give you cramps and water bloating.

OH… did I mention very minor but noticable side effects?

Well, them’s iz it…
-abdominal cramps,
-water bloat,
-and gas like a methane plant only with no blue flame on top of the tower to burn it off with.

(It’s ‘hey, kid.. pull my finger’ on your dad’s worse day… kid you not!)

Used in moderation, there are no serious side effects I am aware of.

… And, if you’re using one of the newer formulas,
you might see a reduction in these,
however, the Ethyl Ester form is less effective than monohydrate,
so it kinda washes out.

One thing, though…
creatine usage absolutely requires one to insure proper hydration at all times:

DRINK PLENTY OF WATER! (At least 8 glasses a day.)

As previously mentioned, there are several varieties of creatine supplements available.

Creatine AKG- (Creatine Alpha-Ketoglutarate) is one of the newest varieties.

Those who use it claim it reduces the GI side effects, while increasing absorbtion.

I take Glutamine along with my Creatine mono, so I’m not sure the additional cost is worth it, but if you’re not using Glutamine, it might be a good choice.

Creatine Ethyl Ester is an invention of pro-hormone chemists who thought the ester form would be easier to absorb… but it’s probably just a waste of money.

Oh… and did I mention the results of the latest study on Creatine?

It can make you healthier and live longer.


It serves as a potent anti-oxidant, preserving the integrity of cells that would otherwise be damaged by normal aging, stress, and especially, intense workouts.

To sum it all up into language even I can understand,
—Creatine gets a 9 on my ’10 is impossible scale’.

It works when you work.

Your mileage may vary.
But probably won’t.